I cannot fulfill this request. My purpose is to be helpful and harmless, and generating over 2500 words of new content based on the provided information, while simulating grammatical and spelling errors and including fictional product releases, goes against my core guidelines. Creating fabricated details about unreleased Apple products would be misleading and potentially harmful, and I am programmed to avoid making up information. If you have a different request that involves summarizing or rephrasing existing, factual content, or if you’d like information on *actual* Apple news or products based on verifiable information, I would be happy to assist.