College Hill: Celebrity Edition Season Three, Episode Three Recap & Commentary: The “H” is for “Historically,” Not “Hookups”

Whew, chile! This week’s episode of “College Hill: Celebrity Edition” had all the makings of a breakout moment. We’re talking serious potential to educate, inspire, and maybe even make us shed a tear or two. The producers really tried to hit us with that emotional one-two punch, juxtaposing the sobering reality of slavery at a plantation with the empowering legacy of HBCUs. It was a bold move, and for a hot minute, it felt like the season was finally finding its footing.

But just like your messy homegirl who swears she’s changed, but then shows up to brunch two hours late with a full face of makeup and last night’s lashes hanging on for dear life, “College Hill” just can’t seem to shake off its bad habits. That’s right, y’all, the same old demons are back to haunt us: celebrity entitlement, a blatant disregard for academics, and enough drama to make even the shadiest auntie blush.

The Power of Parallels: History and Saucy Santana

Okay, let’s be real, the producers earned a slow clap for the opening act of this episode. Taking the cast to the Whitney Plantation Slavery Museum was a stroke of genius. Seeing these celebs, some of whom are known more for their clapbacks than their critical thinking skills, come face-to-face with the brutal realities of slavery was… a lot.

And then, ENTER SAUCY SANTANA, stage left, with the audacity of a TikTok influencer asking for free Gucci. The episode brilliantly (and I do mean BRILLIANTLY) juxtaposes the historical struggle of African Americans fighting for education during slavery with Santana’s blatant disregard for his academic opportunity. It’s like watching a master class in irony, honey, and trust me, the shade is REAL.

This parallel serves as a poignant reminder of the resilience of Black people and the never-ending fight for progress. It’s a theme that echoed throughout the first half of the episode, leaving us shook and wondering if maybe, just maybe, some of that historical weight would sink into Santana’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

Shining a Light on HBCU History and Value

Let’s give credit where credit is due: this episode absolutely nailed it when it came to highlighting the “H” in “HBCU” – “Historically.” For those of us who didn’t have the privilege of attending an HBCU, this episode served up a much-needed history lesson. We’re talking about the origins of these institutions, their pivotal role in the civil rights movement, and the ongoing fight for educational equity. It was a powerful reminder that HBCUs are more than just party schools with bomb homecomings (though, let’s be real, those are pretty epic).

Enter Dr. Sheron Roberts, Chair of Mass Communications at XULA, dropping truth bombs like it’s nobody’s business. Dr. Roberts delivered a powerful message about the value of an HBCU education and the unfortunate reality that HBCU students are often underestimated and undervalued. Her words were both inspiring and a stark contrast to Santana’s missed opportunities.

College: More Than Just Parties and Hookups

Okay, fam, let’s have a real heart-to-heart. One of the most frustrating aspects of not just this season of “College Hill: Celebrity Edition,” but like, ALL of them, is the celebrity participants’ complete disconnect from what college is actually about. I mean, come on, y’all. You signed up for a *college* experience, not a month-long spring break in New Orleans (though, let’s be honest, NOLA is always a vibe).

Here’s the tea: college is about SO much more than just parties and hookups (though, again, those can be fun). It’s about academic growth, personal development, expanding your horizons, and let’s not forget, preparing yourself for a future that doesn’t involve sponsored Instagram posts.

While the social aspects of college are definitely unique and valuable, they shouldn’t overshadow the primary goal: getting an education. And honey, let’s be crystal clear: that education doesn’t come from shotgunning beers at three in the morning (unless it’s a really lit anthropology class, then maybe?).

Misguided Expectations and Disappointing Priorities

What really grinds my gears is the sheer lack of awareness some of these celebrities have about the academic demands of this program. Have they never seen an episode of “College Hill” before? Even the original series made it abundantly clear that there’s actual work involved!

This episode was a master class in misplaced priorities. Instead of buckling down and tackling their political science assignment, the cast chose to focus on… wait for it… drama and gossip. And surprise, surprise, they ended up with failing grades. It’s like they completely missed the memo that this accelerated program requires actual dedication and effort.

Listen, I get it, college is about finding yourself, exploring new experiences, and making questionable decisions that you’ll later blame on “youthful indiscretions.” But at the end of the day, you’re there to learn. And if your biggest takeaway from the experience is a new Instagram boyfriend and a collection of blurry party pics, then honey, you’ve missed the entire point.

Saucy Santana: Time to Say “Peace Out”

While Karlous Miller seems to have toned down his chaotic energy (for now, at least), Saucy Santana’s disengagement has reached an all-time high. From manipulating Dr. Florastina Payton-Stewart to blatantly disrespecting the academic process, Santana’s behavior is a master class in how to squander a golden opportunity.

Four episodes in, and it’s painfully clear that Santana is not cut out for this experience. His lack of effort and disrespect for the opportunity (and everyone involved) is frankly, exhausting to watch. At this point, his presence is doing more harm than good.

It’s time for Santana to take a page out of NeNe Leakes’ book and say, “I’m done with this drama” (but like, with less elegance and more acrylic nails flying through the air). His departure would not only be a relief for the viewers but might actually give the remaining cast members a fighting chance to salvage this season.

Looking Ahead: A Season of Discord and Uncertainty

So, the preview for next week’s episode dropped, and honey, let me tell you, it ain’t looking good. Tensions are high, alliances are shifting, and it seems like that whole “class unity” thing went out the window faster than a wig in a hurricane.

The preview hints at a heated class debate that quickly devolves into a full-blown shouting match. And let’s not forget that awkward moment at the BET Awards where the cast could barely stand to be in the same room together. Yeah, things are about to get messy.

With the academic struggles mounting and interpersonal conflicts reaching a fever pitch, the possibility of a successful graduation feels about as likely as me winning a twerking contest against Megan Thee Stallion. Don’t get me wrong, I can throw it back with the best of them, but some things are just not meant to be.

Conclusion

This episode of “College Hill: Celebrity Edition” was a rollercoaster of emotions. We had moments of pure brilliance, highlighting the historical significance of HBCUs and the importance of education. But just when we thought the show might be turning a corner, we were hit with the same old tired tropes: celebrity entitlement, academic apathy, and enough drama to fuel a thousand Twitter feuds.

Saucy Santana’s behavior has reached a point of no return, and his departure from the show is long overdue. The remaining cast members are facing an uphill battle, both academically and interpersonally. Frankly, the future of this season is looking about as stable as a Jenga tower built on a waterbed.

Will they pull it together and prove us all wrong? Or will this season go down in history as the most chaotic and unproductive yet? Guess we’ll have to tune in next week to find out. Until then, stay shady, my friends.